Special day cancelled

Today was supposed to be a special, wonderful, scary day. But it didn’t go as planned.

I was supposed to finally have my mastectomy – but the hospital called on Friday last week and rescheduled it. Because they don’t have enough beds.

Sure, I only have to wait until March for my new time, but it’s still annoying. And it’s definitely affected my mood these days.

The weekend didn’t really help either – I went to visit my family (parents, siblings, nephews, the-like) – and spent most of the weekend being misgendered and dead-named.

Well, I can’t say the whole weekend was bad, because it wasn’t. I had fun with them to – played games among other things and we celebrated my little sister having finished her studies becoming a teacher – and I met up with a couple of close friends.

Enough about the weekend. It’s not really important. Or relevant. I just don’t like thinking about the cancellation to much, since it gets my mood very much down. But at the same time, I need to get it out of my system. I don’t like bothering my friends over and over with the same thing. And I don’t seem to be able to get stuff out with just talking and complaining about it. I need to write it down. And I need to start utilizing this blog more for that purpose. It’s not always as helpful as I’d like it to be to just write for and to myself. Here I can write for and to myself, and at the same time writing for and to whoever feels like reading.


I was supposed to get rid of the bothersome clumps of fat called breasts today. But now I have to wait for March to get rid of them. So I have over a month to agonize and worry about them rescheduling again. Yay…

I spent most of last week’s evenings sewing a few new shirt to use after the operation – since I probably won’t find it too comfortable pulling a shirt over my head for a while afterwards. I’m pretty happy with them and looked forward to using them. But now that have to wait. Technically I could still use them, but they’re made for no breast so using them now would mean; tight over the chest and breast too visible. So not a comfortable option.

Well, I’m going to spend the rest of the evening watching shows and ignoring my sadness as much as possible.

Hopefully you’re all having a greater night/day/week than I am.

Good night!